A Canadian Candy Sampler

I've always enjoyed care packages from my mother-in-law containing the exotic tastes of Canada since before she was even my mother-in-law. So my wonderful wife, knowing my sweet tooth and infatuation with Canadian snacks presented me with a sampler of Canadian snacks for my first birthday celebrated in Canada. Americans don't know what most of these things are, although I have seen Kinder Eggs and ketchup chips in stores. For this reason I have decided to review these delicacies--so you'll know what you're missing. Because I have been influenced greatly by the likes of ESPN I have made a non-comprehensive Canadian Candy Power Rankings.


1. Wunderbar--The greatest candy bar of all time. Caramel wrapped in peanut/peanut butter goodness covered in milk chocolate.
2. Caramilk--I'm a sucker for caramel. This is what we know in the States as a Caramelo.
3. Kinder Buenos--Hazelnut cream inside wafers covered in chocolate. These are just so light and delicious.
4. Eat-More--This is a glorified energy bar--a chewy bar of chocolate, dark toffee and peanuts, and it is absolutely delicious. When I finish eating one I only ever wish I could eat more. No joke. Very well named.
5. Wine Gums--I opened the bag and it smelt like Dionysus' birthday however there was no actual wine used to make them. I eat them like crazy. Each piece has a name on it "champagne" or "port" or "burgandy". It's possible that they taste similarly to the named beverage, but as a teetotaler, I wouldn't know. My brother in law says, "They're the best. When they're cold you can't even eat them."

I just ate those four pieces and I want more.

6. Big Turk Bites--I have not actually experienced a Big Turk, just the bites. It is a chocolate-covered Turkish delight. Wikipedia describes a Turkish Delight as a "gel based on starch and sugar" but I'm not really sure that does it justice. My first impression was that they were strange, and although I keep going back to the bag, that's still how I feel. But like I said, I keep going back to the bag.
7. Coffee Crisp--I was skeptical, but pleasantly surprised. Like the Wine Gummies, upon opening the Coffee Crisp I feel like I walked into a Starbucks. While I don't drink coffee, as a kid I loved the smell of the coffee section at the grocery store, and this is how it felt to open the package. That being said, the taste of coffee was microscopic. The wafers had a good chocolate taste, but you need a glass of milk to get it down.
8. Kinder Milks--I love eating milk chocolate chips straight from the bag. That is what this tastes like.
9. Mack Toffees--Soft toffee chews that you don't want to chew unless you think your dentist is hurting for a new Lexus. I just pretend that they're a hard candy. They taste a little better than a Werthers, and are also something grandparents frequently have on hand for the kiddies
10. Crunchie--Sponge toffee. Covered in chocolate. I was intrigued and then not impressed. It tasted good, but it wasn't amazing. On an American candy scale this would rank right behind a Skor bar and right above a Butterfinger. I'm taking a lot of heat from my mother in law for this ranking, who used to save up her pennies to buy a Crunchie when she was a kid.
11. Aero--I like the chocolate, but the air pockets (which have finally found there way to the States in Hersey's Air) don't add enough to the experience.
12. Hickory Sticks--These were really fun. Essentially they are julienne barbeque potato chips. The taste wasn't incredible, but good, and there's something about them that's just fun.

13. Kinder Eggs--The eggs are chocolate on the outside and white chocolate on the inside and they don't taste that great. They do come with an equally unimpressive toy, which was cooler when they came with really small parts requiring detailed assembly. I did pull in a Princess Jasmine, though.

14. Wagon Wheels--Known as a Moon Pie south of the border, the Wagon Wheel is refreshingly smaller, and thus easier to eat. But they taste the same. 
15. Ketchup Chips--ugh