Canadian Government Primer

If you know me, you knew this post was coming. With a government shutdown looming in the States, I thought it good timing. This is just a brief overview about how things work here. I will try to actually make it brief.

Source: myrts.org

The capital of Canada is Ottawa and is located in the province of Ontario 200 km from Montreal and 450 km from Toronto on the Ottawa river. I live in Alberta, which is on the other side of the country. Canada was part of Great Britain for a very and in 1931 Canada was given nearly entire legislative independence, much like Scotland today. Eight years later Canada declared its independence by declaring war on Nazi Germany a week before Britain. As part of the Commonwealth the country is still loyal to the Queen, who is head of state, and officially the Queen of Canada. The Prime Minister of Canada appoints a Governor General to carry out all constitutional and ceremonial duties the British monarch would if it were possible. But as far as governmental power the governor general and Queen Elizabeth have none. Those powers are reserved to Parliament.

Parliament of Canada (Source: wikipedia)

Canada runs on a parliamentary form of government similar to that seen in Great Britain with a House of Commons and a Senate. The best way I can think of to describe it for those who are only familiar with US politics is to imagine the US House of Representatives. Just as in the House, Canada's House of Commons is made up of democratically-elected representatives from different districts (ridings, they call them) and they are members of national parties and each has a leader, the majority party leader being in charge. Differing from the States, though, the majority leader is the Prime Minister, the head of government--it is not a separately elected office. Just as clarification, if a single party has a majority they can do practically WHATEVER THEY WANT. There's none of this fighting the house and the senate and the White House because they are all run by different parties. If the guys in charge want to get something done, they do it. The Senate is different in every way. Its 105 members are appointed by the PM according to region (24 for Ontario, 24 for Montreal, 24 for the west, 24 for the Maritimes and 9 for the remaining territories). They can be from all walks of life and review legislation more than anything, sort of like a thinktank would review policies and make recommendations. A short but informative article on their present role can be found here from the Canadian magazine McLeans.

I personally love the parliamentary system. Stuff gets done. Sometimes, though, it's bad stuff, and I'll talk about what Albertans think about Trudeau another time. Currently the government is run by the conservatives with Calgarian Steven Harper at the head. Again, this is just the primer, more on politics later

A Canadian Candy Sampler

I've always enjoyed care packages from my mother-in-law containing the exotic tastes of Canada since before she was even my mother-in-law. So my wonderful wife, knowing my sweet tooth and infatuation with Canadian snacks presented me with a sampler of Canadian snacks for my first birthday celebrated in Canada. Americans don't know what most of these things are, although I have seen Kinder Eggs and ketchup chips in stores. For this reason I have decided to review these delicacies--so you'll know what you're missing. Because I have been influenced greatly by the likes of ESPN I have made a non-comprehensive Canadian Candy Power Rankings.


1. Wunderbar--The greatest candy bar of all time. Caramel wrapped in peanut/peanut butter goodness covered in milk chocolate.
2. Caramilk--I'm a sucker for caramel. This is what we know in the States as a Caramelo.
3. Kinder Buenos--Hazelnut cream inside wafers covered in chocolate. These are just so light and delicious.
4. Eat-More--This is a glorified energy bar--a chewy bar of chocolate, dark toffee and peanuts, and it is absolutely delicious. When I finish eating one I only ever wish I could eat more. No joke. Very well named.
5. Wine Gums--I opened the bag and it smelt like Dionysus' birthday however there was no actual wine used to make them. I eat them like crazy. Each piece has a name on it "champagne" or "port" or "burgandy". It's possible that they taste similarly to the named beverage, but as a teetotaler, I wouldn't know. My brother in law says, "They're the best. When they're cold you can't even eat them."

I just ate those four pieces and I want more.

6. Big Turk Bites--I have not actually experienced a Big Turk, just the bites. It is a chocolate-covered Turkish delight. Wikipedia describes a Turkish Delight as a "gel based on starch and sugar" but I'm not really sure that does it justice. My first impression was that they were strange, and although I keep going back to the bag, that's still how I feel. But like I said, I keep going back to the bag.
7. Coffee Crisp--I was skeptical, but pleasantly surprised. Like the Wine Gummies, upon opening the Coffee Crisp I feel like I walked into a Starbucks. While I don't drink coffee, as a kid I loved the smell of the coffee section at the grocery store, and this is how it felt to open the package. That being said, the taste of coffee was microscopic. The wafers had a good chocolate taste, but you need a glass of milk to get it down.
8. Kinder Milks--I love eating milk chocolate chips straight from the bag. That is what this tastes like.
9. Mack Toffees--Soft toffee chews that you don't want to chew unless you think your dentist is hurting for a new Lexus. I just pretend that they're a hard candy. They taste a little better than a Werthers, and are also something grandparents frequently have on hand for the kiddies
10. Crunchie--Sponge toffee. Covered in chocolate. I was intrigued and then not impressed. It tasted good, but it wasn't amazing. On an American candy scale this would rank right behind a Skor bar and right above a Butterfinger. I'm taking a lot of heat from my mother in law for this ranking, who used to save up her pennies to buy a Crunchie when she was a kid.
11. Aero--I like the chocolate, but the air pockets (which have finally found there way to the States in Hersey's Air) don't add enough to the experience.
12. Hickory Sticks--These were really fun. Essentially they are julienne barbeque potato chips. The taste wasn't incredible, but good, and there's something about them that's just fun.

13. Kinder Eggs--The eggs are chocolate on the outside and white chocolate on the inside and they don't taste that great. They do come with an equally unimpressive toy, which was cooler when they came with really small parts requiring detailed assembly. I did pull in a Princess Jasmine, though.

14. Wagon Wheels--Known as a Moon Pie south of the border, the Wagon Wheel is refreshingly smaller, and thus easier to eat. But they taste the same. 
15. Ketchup Chips--ugh

Goin' Metric

I could be wrong, but I feel it's safe to say most Americans next to nothing about the metric system. From my glory days in track and field I know that a rough conversion for a mile was 1500 meters, and that a 5k was a little more than three miles. The fact that doing this requires a) math and b) conversion from one unit of measurement to a greater unit backs up my opening statement. 

If you didn't know before, you must have realized by now that in Canada things are run by the metric system. My driver's license says I am 177 cm tall and weigh 70 kg. Every day is a new experience figuring out what the temperature means. Not everything is in metric (they measure house area in square feet and baking times are in Fahrenheit and golf courses are in yards), but most things are. 

The most common uses of measurement, though, are distance and speed. Things are a number of kilometers away and you drive in kilometers per hour. So the speed limits are all different and require a little getting used to. Luckily there's a 10 km/hr cushion above the limit, so if I'm going too fast it's generally accepted.

• In-city Highways: 110 km/hr (68 mph)-pretty much the same
• Major thoroughfares: 80 km/hr (50 mph)-it's been a while since I lived anywhere with major thoroughfares, but I'm thinking 45 is normal, so this is a little increase
• Suburban areas: 50km/hr (31 mph)-this one always seems really fast because Courtney always tells me, "You know, you can go 60," which is 37 and feels a little fast. But that's probably because we just spent two years in Roosevelt (i.e. Mayberry RFD) and I drive like an old man because if you go 30 in a 25 you're gonna get pulled over (and I did once, but it was our second week there and he let me slide).
• School/Playground Areas: 30 km/hr (19 mph)-this is slow. REALLY slow. And these are strictly enforced It's difficult. You see it ahead and you really have to start slowing down to make it down to 30 in time. Plus, there's the ambiguity of when the zone actually ends. In school zones there is a specific time (and only on school days), but playground zones like the one pictured end 'one hour after sunset.' Just a little subjective, don't you think?

Generally, I have done a pretty good job at learning metric, except for the temperature--that's going to take some getting used to. At least I know that when it gets its coldest here it will feel the same as Roosevelt (because -30 F is the same as -30 C).

The Truth About Canadian Bacon

Job update--the paperwork has yet to be processed for that concrete finishing job, so I am unemployed still. In fact, last week we came to the realization that Labour Market Opinion approval can take anywhere from 10 days to 12 weeks. So I have cut my search to companies I know have LMOs for positions. I don't actually have a very comprehensive list of these, but I have found a few that I have been able to apply for, including a job at my beloved Canadian Tire. I've been searching on kijiji (the Canadian Craigslist) for job postings with LMOs and I've found a lot of postings of people who have posted that their visa expired and they need an LMO for a job to stay in Canada. Part of me wonders if this is actually effective, but most of them have experience in a kitchen, which may just work out for them. I just can't see employers going on kijiji to looking for workers. More news to come

I just thought I'd post this because I believe there is some confusion about Canadian bacon in the states. This is the only Canadian bacon I've seen in a store so far (at Walmart) and there is 400 times as much regular bacon on the shelves. It is not the alternative to delicious, greasy bacon, merely a different type of bacon that is really just ham cut into circles.

Music Update

Two more Rod Steward songs I heard this week. I actually like hearing him all the time. I'm not sure how much I'd like it if I had to watch the music videos over and over again, though. Viewer beware.

Do You Think I'm Sexy?--Confession-I love disco rock. The Stones' Miss You, Bowie's Let's Dance, and this lovely number.

Hot Legs--If you search youtube for 'hot legs' one of the results is a game show type video where you have to guess if the picture is of legs or hot dogs.